Do you still remember School Days?
Here are some sayings from School.....smile!
Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
10 Most Alien like Insects on Earth
1. This alien poses as a damselfly of the Zygoptera suborder. People often fail to notice that they hold their wings differently when at rest and are also smaller than dragonflies. Oh, and did you notice, their eyes are separated. Though running might be better than waiting to see the blue in their eyes…
2. "Give me… FOOD!" This fuzzy yellow alien with black spots is called Dasychira Pudibunda and is the larval form, or caterpillar, of the red-tailed moth.
3. This species of aliens has fooled humans for many years. Popularly known as a bumblebee of the Apidae family, they have donned a fuzzy yellow-and-black fur and spread rumours that some of them are stingless. Right, whatever, just careful with that … thingy, dude!
4. "Listen to me, Earthling, feel the mighty wrath of Gandalf the Green!" This green bush cricket of the TettigoniidaeLord of the Rings.
5. "Hullo there, did I startle you? If I did pretty please, will you be my… ahem… buy my dinner?" This praying mantis is one of 2,000 species in the mantis order of insects. As predatory aliens, ER, insects, they might better be called preying mantis.
6. "I might look cute but I can sap you out!" Treehoppers have long fascinated biologists because of their unusual appearance. They belong to the Membracidae family and are closely related to cicadas and leafhoppers. They feed upon the sap found in plant stems, which they prick with their beaks.
7. This praying mantis male would certainly score a role in any alien movie. His acting talent is undisputed as he's part of the flower mantis species - they pretend to be flowers and then attack their prey. How very cunning, indeed.
8. "Who you're calling an alien? Our ancestors have been around since 350 million BC!" Wasps are said to be terrestrial but some of them look positively extra-terrestrial. Though often called pests, they are in fact very important for ecosystems: as food for other insects and birds or as predators limiting the populations of many other species.
9. "Call me a cricket one more time!" Grasshoppers have horns or antennas that are shorter than their body, unlike their relatives', the bush crickets. They may look well shielded but lose many a battle when they end up as a protein-rich delicacy on someone's plate in many parts of the world.
10. This praying mantis looks straight out of Alien or Men in Black… No prizes for guessing who inspired whom.
It’s called Mindset!
It's called Mindset!!
As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? So make an attempt to grow further.... Why shouldn't we try it again?
"YOUR ATTEMPT MAY FAIL, BUT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT."
Funny SMS
Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai...
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Lehar aati hai, kinare se palat jati hai,
yaad aati hai, dil mein simat jati hai,
don! o mein farakh sirf itna hai,
lehar bewaqt aati hai, aur yaad har waqt aati hai.
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jab dosti ki dastaan waqt sunayega,
hum ko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega ,
tab bhool jayenge zindagi ke gamon ko ,
jab AAp ke saath guzra waqt yaad ayega
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Kabhi badli hui takdir nazar ati hai,
yado ki bas ek zanjir nazar ati hai ,
pade bhi to kya pade
yaar- mujhe mobile me bhi teri tasveer nazar ati hai,
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Shadi karna tha par kismat khuli nahi,
TAJMAHAL Bana tha par MUMTAZ mili nahi,
Ab kismat khuli, Shadi hue,
ab TAZ banana chahta hu,
par ye MUMTAZ marti nahi!
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Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo,
Pyar nahi to Shikayat hi kiya karo,
Itna bhi gair na samjho ki baat hi na kiya karo,
Phone nahi to SMS hi kiya karo....
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Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
??
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
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Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain.
man main har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai.
najane kab aa jaye aap ka sms
is liye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.
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Jindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai naa taal hai,
Msgbox bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hadtal hai,
yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.
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Is dil mein yaadon ke mele hain,
tum bin bahut akele hain,
sab kuch chodke tume SMS kar rele hain,
dekho hum kitne wele
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Nazar tumhari, Nazar hamari,
Nazar ne dil ki nazar utari,
Nazar ne dekha nazar ko aise,
ki nazar dosti ko lage na hamari.
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Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan vaste,
Tussi ronde ho saanu rovvan vaset,
Tussi 1 vaar ruske te vekho,
Mar jayenge tuhanu manaan vaste.
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Baadal kitne khushnaseeb hai,
Door rahkar bhi zameen par baraste hai,
Hum kitne badnaseeb hai,
Paas rahkar bhi milne ko taraste hai.
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Dosti ka pehala pegam aapke naam,
Zindagi ki akhari sham aapke naam.
Iss safar main humsafar hain hum dono,
Is dosti ko nibhana hain aapka kaam.
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is kadar hamari chahat ka imtihan na lijiye.
Kyu ho humse khafa, bayan to kijiye,
Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gaye humse khata,
Yu yaad na karke saza na dijiye.
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Rishton ki ye duniye hai niraali,
Sab riston se pyaari hai dosti tumhaar! i.
Manzoor hai aansu bhi aakho mein hamaree,
Agar aa jaaye muskaan hot pe tumahari.
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Khuda se thoda raham khareed lete,
Aap ke zakhmo ka marham khareed lete.
Agar kahi bikti khushiya meri,
To saari bech kar aap ka har ghum khareed lete.
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Jam pe jam pine se kya fayda,
Sham ko pi subah utar jayegi.
Arey do boond dosti ke pi le,
Zindagi saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.
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Fiza mein mehekti ek shaam ho tum,
Pyar mein chalakta jam ho tum.
Seene main chupaye phirte hai hum yaad tumahari,
Meri zindagi ka dusra naam ho tum.
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Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
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Vaade pe o aitbaar nahi karte,
Hum zikre mohabbat sare bazaar nahi karte.
Darta hai dil unki ruswai se,
Aur who sochte hai hum unse pyar nahi karte.
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Har kadam par imtihaan leti hai zindagi,
Har waqt naya sadma deti hai zindagi.
Hum jindagi se kya shikwa kare,
Aap jaise dost bhi to deti hai zindagi.
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Kaash who nagme hame sunaye na hote,
Aaj unko sun kar aansu aye na hote.
Agar isi tarah bhool hi jaana tha,
To itni gehrai se dil me samaye na hote.
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Har khushi kam hai,
Tera gum bhulane ke liye,
Ek tera gum hi kaafi hai,
Mujhe umr bhar rulane ke liye
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Dil Ki Basti Bikhar Gayi Hoti
Ke Rooh Ke Zakhm Bhar Gaye Hote
Yeh Zindagi To Aap Ki Amaanat Hai Warna
Hum To Kab Ke Mar Gaye Hote
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Unke Bewafai Par Wafa Hum Karenge
Yaad Ko Unki Dil Se Juda Hum Karenge
Itna Chaha Phir Bhi Yakeen Nahin
Aise Zindagi Jee Kar Kya Karenge
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Mere Jineke Liye Tera Armaan Hi Kafi Hai .
Dil Ke Kalam Se Likhi Ye ! Dastaan Hi Kafi Hai.
Tir-E-Talwaar Ki Tujhe Kya Zaroorat-E-Nazneen,
Qatl Karne Ke Liye Teri Muskaan hi Kafi Hai
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Ittefaq se hum mile,
Ittefaq se aap hume pasand aaye,
Ittefaq se hum dost bane,
Humari dosti ab ittefaq nahi,
Zindagi ki khoobsurat hakikat hai.
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Yun durr reh! kar duriyon ko badaya nahi karte,
Apne deewano ko sataya nahi karte,
Har waqt bas jise tumhara khyal ho,
Usey apni awaaz ke liye tadpaya nahi karte.
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Jamane se nahi to tanhai se darta hu,
Pyar se nahi to ruswai se darta hu,
Milne ki umang bahot hoti hai dil me,
Lekin milne ke baad teri judai se darta hu.
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Hum to dil deneko taiyar baithe hai,
Darde mohabbat karne ko taiyar baite hai,
Par hai re meri futi kismat,
Koi dil leneko hi taiyar nahi.
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Bekabu hai dil fir bhi jiya ja raha hu,
Khali hao botal fir bhi piya ja raha hu,
Majburi to dekho is dil ki.
Reply nahi mil raha fir bhi msg kiya ja raha hu.
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Wo ruthe is kadar ki manaya na gaya,
Durr itne ho gaye ki pass bulaya na gaya,
Dil to dil tha samundar ka sahil nahi,
Likh diya naam to fir mitaya na gaya.
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Tumse doori ka ehsaas jab satane laga,
Tere saath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jabbhi tumhe bhulne ki koshish ki,
Ae dost tu dil ke aur paas ! aane laga..
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Ham tere dil mein rahenge ek yaad bankar,
Tere lab pa khilenge muskaan bankar,
Kabhi hamein apne se juda na samajhna,
Hum tere saath challenge aasmaan bankar.
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Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Begana kaho ya deewana,
Suno is dil ka fasana,
Teri d! osti hai mere jeene ka bahana..
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Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai
Kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai
Hame aap yuhi sharabi na kahiye,
Yeh dil par asar to aapse mulaqat ka hai.
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Chand adhura hai sitaro ke bina,
gulshan adhura hai bahaaro ke bina,
samundar adhura hau kinaro ke bina,
jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina!!!
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Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
jisko dhoond rahein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
firte hain vo jamaane ki talaash mein,
bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta!!!
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Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
is umeed ke saath ki a! ayega SMS aapka,
humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hain...
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exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya
KUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
SAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI.
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Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola
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Chaand ko garoor hai ki uske pass noor hai to kya hua
Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera dost Langoor hai
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Yadd Karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hamein mat dhoonndho duniya ki bhid mein,
hum milenge tumhe phir kisi, free SMS ki scheme mein.
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Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
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Har kadam par imtihaan leti hai zindagi,
Har waqt naya sadma deti hai zindagi.
Hum jindagi se kya shikwa kare,
Aap jaise dost bhi to deti hai zindagi
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Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...
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Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail ! karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
* vele = lazy (vele is a Punjabi word)
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Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh...
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Sh! aam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
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Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...
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Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!
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Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shu! kar hai tum nahi ho!!!
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Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
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Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi
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kaun kehta hai dost tumse hamari judai hogi,
yeh afwah kisi aur ne udayi hogi;
shaan se rahenge aapke dil mein hum,
itne dino mein humne kuch to jagah banayi hogi
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Lamha Lamha waqt guzar jayega...
Chand lamhon mein exam aa jayega...
Abhi bhi waqt hai, do line padh lo...
Warna pass kya MUNNA BHAI karvayega???
vah vah... vah vah... vah va
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Aansun se palke bhigo leta hoon
Yaad teri aati hai to ro leta hoon
Socha ki bhula doon tujhe magar,
Har baar faisla badal deta hoon
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Mayoos tow hoon mager hona nahi chahti
Kia karon mein ussay bhulana nahi chahti
Janti hon wo bay khaber hai mujhe se
phir bhee Uss k khayal ko dil se mitana nahi chahti ~
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Badi muddat se chaha hai tumeh,
badi duaon se paaya hai tumeh,
Tujeh bhulane ki sochu bhi kaise,
Kismat ki lakiron se churaya hai tujeh!
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aasaan nahi hota kisi ko bhulana.
chhe vo apna ho ya begana
dil ki baatain bas samajhta hai dil hi,
inhe kya samjhega ye zalim zamana??
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Yaad karne ke liye koi cheez chahiye,
Aap nahi to aapki taswir chahiye
per taswir aapki hamaara dil behla na sakegi,
Kyonki yeh aapki tarah muskura na sakegi....
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Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe,
Door rehkar bhi hamesha
chahenge tumhe,Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to
Bhoot bankar darayenge tumheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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Jab hum is duniya mein aate hai,
Toh kitne rishtey saath laatey hai.
Duniya mein aane ke baad hum,
Kitne naye rishtey baanthe hai.
Magar in rishto mein se sirf,
woh pyaar ka pawitra rishta hai,
Jo hum marte dum tak nibhaate hain.
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Kehena hai aaj tumse,
phir ki! sise ye kehena nahi,
Rehena hai saath tere,
warna Duniya me rehena nahi.
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Kash tumhare chere pe chicken-pox ke daag hote,
Kash tumhare chere pe chicken-pox ke daag hote,
chand to tum ho hi,
sitare bhi saath hote!!
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oftdrinks Contain Dangerous Pestcides.
Insan to newspape! r padh sakte hain
par janwaro ka kya hoga kyonki....
Aaj kal CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI !
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Arz kiya hai,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Ghanti bajainge aur bhaag jayenge !
Munna Bhai Ki Kahani
appun jaise tappori s/w Engg. ko kya maalum...
saala programming kis chidiya kaa naam hai...
template me subclassing karke apanaa
timepass.........hota hai....
copy paste kaa kaam miltaa hai bass appun
khush...!!!
fir yeh coding kaa lafdaa, locha, kaiko?
are kaiko ?
arre kaiko re?
fir ek din boleto appun ko kuch bada log mila.....
ya haaaaaaaaaa!!!!
saala appun ka khopdi chakkar kha gaya ...
computer ke saath dil saala takkar kha
gayaa...!!!
appun ko lagaa appun kaa beda paar ho gaya...
boleto baap saala appun ko bhi kaam mil
gaya...!!!
din bhar appun computer ke aagge...
koi lafdaa nahi, kuch nahi...
teen din naa PL se ragda, na GL se pangaa
bass choop chaap...
appun kaa bhidu log saala dar gaya...
bola kya be veeru, saala tu bhi programmer bann
gaya...!!!
phir ek din appun ko kaam kartaa dekh pandey bola...
ye veeru bhai kya form bana rela hai baap...!!!
pandey ko pakdaa... bola idhar aa shahane
tereko form seekhataa hai...
saale ko itnaa dhoyaa itnaa dhoyaa...
abhi tak thobdaa waakadaa hai ...
aur aaj tak uska forms ke saath chattis kaa
aakdaa hai...!!!
samzaa ...?
samzaa...?
samzaaa naa...?
(fir ...? fir kya huwa..?)
fir ek din appun ne form poora kar diya...
form poora karke appun ne testing ko bhej
diya...!!!
lagataa tha ab appun kaa kaam khatam ho
gaya...!!!
par "fmx, pll's and olb's" me issues dekhake sala
appun darr
gaya...!!!
appun ke saamne tester ne mere form me bahut
galtiyaa nikali...
aapun ke form ki poori waat laga dali....
appun udharich khadaa thaa...
par appun kuch nahi bola...
kaiko bolega?
kaiko...?
saala ek, ek kaam kiya thaa... usme bhi itne
bugs...
par appun ek aansu nahi roya...
kaiko royega...?
kaiko..?
saala appunich yedaa thaa naa...!!!
agale din se phir wohi life chalu...
wohi mails forward karnaa, wohi messages,
wohi template, wohi assignments...
saala itnaa mails forward kiya...itnaa mails
forward kiya...
log samze mail server down hoyega...
bhoolne ka hai bhoolne ka hai par kya
karega...!!!
training milke bhi jab kaam nahi miltaa hai...
haa thoda bore huwa, par chaltaa hai...
training milke bhi jab kaam nahi miltaa hai...
haa thoda bore huwa par chaltaa hai...
(phir ...? phir kya huwa..?)
fir ...?
fir kya...?
fir agale din appun ko aur ek bada log mila...!!!
shaappak...
saala appun ka khopdi phir chakkar kha gaya ...
computer ke saath dil saala phir takkar kha
gayaa...!!!